What I hate about living in the sticks

What I hate about living in the country can be boiled down to:
1.  Icks
2.  Ticks
3.  Sticks

There are just so many dirty, slimey, muddy, gooey, stinky things in the country.
And the whole blood-sucking, disease-spreading thing- that doesn't take much imagination, either.

 

But sticks as an object of loathing- as a city dweller, I didn't see that coming.

I see now why living in the sticks is a derogatory phrase for country living.

I hate sticks.
Sticks are everywhere on our property- causing an obstruction, clutching at legs and arms, scraping thorns through flesh, tripping feet, thwacking one in the face, applying burrs and prickers to every available surface.

A stake waiting to impale

Seriously, the day we rented The Mother Shredder and our branches met their Mulcher was a good, good day.  Nothing quite so satisfying as thinking bad words at inanimate objects while shoving them into a frighteningly loud, super powerful machine which chews up frustrations and spits out mulch.  Very therapeutic.  I highly recommend a good chipper shredder day.

It was also cathartic that the most irritating branches, these v-shaped ones sticking out in several directions trying to put someone's eye out, would jam even The Mother.  I took some solace as I grabbed these bad boys out of her maw that even She couldn't overcome them all.

So last week

We are learning and changing around here so fast that I sometimes find myself exhausted.  
When I said that to Tim, he replied,

"Muscovy ducks?  What Muscovies?  
Ducks are soooo last week!"

I laughed until I cried.

The Sky is (not) Falling

Tim sent me a 2-part blog called, The Sky is (not) Falling which was so clear and well-said, I now pass it on to you.

Part 1
Part 2

Very motivational.
Enjoy.
And if you need anything to plant, let me know.  I've got extras.

In praise of easy abundance

I disdain ease.
I am German, Scottish, and English.
Ease makes me nervous.  
Garrison Keillor did a monologue about this once, live from Germany.  Something about how if Germans were offered a pill to make them perfectly happy, they wouldn't take for fear that they would lose their moral compass.  I laughed so hard I cried.  Only too true.

Yesterday my friend Pastor Kevin from Taylors Falls gave me chives, mint, and walking onions from his garden- some to keep and some to share.  All perennials, all super hardy, all grown beyond their bounds and in need of a new home.  I was happy to oblige.  He also showed me some roses, raspberry canes, and a mulberry tree.  Many of these plants have been in his family for generations and they are full of stories.

Which lead me to do some pondering: Why do I disdain easy abundance?

Why don't I eat chives daily in spring?  They require almost nothing after planting but harvesting.  I love chives.  Somehow, this spring I wound up eating mini peppers from another hemisphere.  They were cute and tasty.  And pricey.  
 
Why have I never grown walking onions?  Heck, why have I never eaten walking onions?  Sure, they're smaller than standard onions and require more chopping time.  But they are perennials which over-winter here without assistance.  They grow bulblets on top of stalks which bend over under their weight.  When they touch down, they root and spread.  Perpetual eating for no cultivation.  

Kefir is a fermented dairy product sort of like liquidy yogurt.  It is tart, sour even.  But it reproduces it's own culture as it makes kefir, pre-digesting milk and turning it into a gut flora powerhouse.  Perpetual food creation coupled with perpetual procreation of the means of production.

Then, there was the mulberry tree.  Granted, the fruits are tiny and it is messy as the fruits fall when they get ripe.  But they were super tasty and would provide steady food over months for livestock without me having to distribute it.  

Is it human nature to despise the simple and easy raspberry in favor of the needy strawberry?  
Or to overlook the effortless honeyberry in favor of the fickle blueberry? 
Or to neglect chives and mint in favor of the diva tomato and fragile basil?

I like peppers and big onions and strawberries and tomatoes.  All of those are fabulous foods which grow easily in their home places.  But not here.  Not in Franconia. 

The garden does not have to be greener somewhere else.  Lots of good stuff will grow here.  Not everything, but not nothing, either.

There is something perverse about my choices to buy expensive foods or use my limited time and energy tending grudging ones when I could share the excess abundance of the easy ones.

Ease and abundance to share.

Just like I'm in training for a 5K, I'm going to discipline my taste buds.  I am going to practice liking easy, abundant foods.  I'm going to choose to embrace what will grow here cheerfully- me cheerfully, plants cheerfully. 
 
Those chives, walking onions, and mint are going into my ground this week, somewhere easy to harvest.  And next year, I'm going to choose to eat a lot of them.  And if you'd like to, too, hopefully I'll have some extras for you.

No, not this week, this morning.  Tim and I are going to change into our grubby clothes and despite the heat, I'm going to put these guys into the ground now.  

That's how hardy stuff gets passed through generations- it starts one inconvenient morning.

Why I shouldn't be a farmer and why I'm trying anyway

Westley: I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.
Inigo Montoya: Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?
Fezzik: Over the albino, I think.
Westley: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?

The Princess Bride

There are a number of good reasons why I shouldn't be a farmer.

1.  I am squeamish.

2.  I don't like hassle.

3.  I am not physically strong, coordinated, or flexible.

4.  I am not good with animals.

5.  I am not mechanical.

6.  I don't like feeling out of control.
7.  I am scared of the wildness of nature.
8.  I don't like mess, uncertainty, and lack of closure.

9.  I have no experience.

10.  I don't want to fail my way to experience.

So, I can hear you asking, "Then why in the world did you move to the country and start a farm, Amy?"

Don't think I haven't wondered myself.  Especially when all I can see are my challenges and liabilities.

Basically, it comes down to this.

1.  I think hard times are coming.

2.  I like to eat really good food.

3.  I want to live a healthier, more active lifestyle.

4.  I get bored easily.

At first, that seemed awfully slim.

Ridiculously little to go on, really.

But that's what I've got.

That and all the wheelbarrows I didn't know to list among my farming assets in the first place-  a sense of humor, an insatiable curiosity, a determination to learn.

Farming is not only for the brave, knowledgeable, physically agile professionals who liked machines and animals. 

Which is very, very good for the rest of us.

Next to Godliness

After sweaty, dirty, sticky days, I have to agree.

Manure, straw dust, cat hair, dirt, chicken feed, sun burn, raw meat, blood, bites, scratches, scrapes-

all come here for comfort and release.

Hot epsom salts for achy muscles

Cool showers for grumpy stench

Antiseptic soaks for bloody skin

This is the place where the pain of labor 

and the discomforts of life are eased.

This is a most redemptive place.

Poultry updates- toward success

This past weekend, we stirred the poultry pot, clarifying our livestock philosophy.

The 2 bantam chickens went to Tim's co-worker where they'll have an enclosed run, safe from predators.  We've been hoping to get them safely relocated since we identified the mystery chicks as a breed unsuitable for foraging.    Too small to eat, too slow to run, and too mellow to forage isn't going to work.  They are cute as buttons, are a breeding pair, and should lay lots of eggs- a good fit for Tom's place.  Everyone was pleased with the arrangement.  Good luck guys!

Livestock principle #1: Livestock need to be good fit workers for our style and goals in farming.  They are not pets nor do we want to needlessly set them up for failure.

Mama Muscovy and the ducklings went home with our new neighbors, Kifah and Mark, who are budding permaculture farmers on the next block.  We'd anticipated from the beginning that the three adult ducks would never be truly tame and that we would keep their babies.  However, Elvis and The Groupie (the other male and female) kept swimming across the pond to our neighbor's property and messing up their garden.  So we Craigslisted them.  Mama Muscovy had done so very well brooding and we had put up deer fencing so we'd hoped that she'd lead her babies into good habits, but no.  The call of the water was too seductive.  She and a dwindling number of ducklings (3 of 6) were down in the pond living the high life, not up eating wasps and flies like we'd "hired" them to do.  Mama's a good mother and the three remaining ducklings are hardy survivors.  We wish Team Muscovy well at their new place!  This concludes our Muscovy experiments for 2013.

Livestock principle #2: Good livestock stay home and do their work.  They do not cause trouble.

The Guinea Guys, the four adults- 3 male and 1 female- we bought this spring, are now at Kifah and Mark's farm as well.  We had also anticipated from expert advice (thanks, Sam!) that these adults would never be truly tame and would tend to wander.  And, lo and behold, they did.  Just got a email from the same long-suffering neighbors on Saturday saying that the guineas are regular visitors whose shrieking freaks out their dog.  Unlike the ducks, the guineas had been doing their jobs at home eating ticks and had only been insanely noisy a few minutes a day.  Not great brooders, not tame, and didn't bond to our territory, but that was exactly how they'd been advertised as adults so it was no surprise.  Best wishes Guinea Guys!  I hope you roam in good health.

Livestock principle #3: Do not expect livestock to behave contrary to their nature.

Kifah and Mark took 3 home last night and in true guinea style, the fourth one didn't come home until this morning.  Anjali and Kiley lured her into the greenhouse, captured her, loaded her into a dog kennel, and walked her over to Kifah and Mark's in our little red wagon. 

 Way to go Anjali and Kiley!

Since they were doing their job and we have time to prepare for success before they leave their coop in a month, we decided to keep the 8 newly hatched babies, called keets, and experiment with keeping them home as babies so they will know their territory as adults.  Keep your fingers crossed and we'll keep you posted.

 Aaawww!

Baby keets

 I wondered if keets would be adorable or ugly or so ugly they're adorable.

Surprisingly, they are adorably leopard striped and cute.

Huddled asleep

I have a soft spot for guineas so I hope they'll stay home and do their work.  If not, roast guinea it will be. 

Livestock principle #4: Livestock who do not fit are still an asset to be shared with friends in the Dance of Kindness as livestock or lunch.

On the up side, we still have 13 chickens left- 2 roosters for mating, Mark's amnesty rooster Brownie, a sneaky rooster who missed being culled but will be, and 8 egg layers who haven't laid anything yet.  By the end of summer, Sam, the guinea guy, is going to buy me another dozen pink egged hens ready to lay.  I feel poultry poor, so maybe I'll up it to a dozen and a half or maybe two if the guinea hypothesis doesn't pan out. 

 Mark, poultry photographer

 

 Really free range chickens

Yesterday a friend inquired about our farm and I said, "Well, we're failing our way to success.  At least I hope it's toward success because we are doing a lot of failing."

Just like we tried a number of different gardening hypotheses- planting over 150 different kinds of plants and multiple varieties of the same plant in at least 4 different styles of agriculture so we could compare and contrast them- we also tried three very different kinds of poultry, three different breeds of chickens, and three different kinds of housing.  We learn best by comparing and contrasting.  Trying different hypotheses and seeing which one works best is hard work and yet now we've learned things. 

We've learned that purebred, expensive chickens are not necessarily a better fit than a healthy hybrid.

We know that the drought year's 'meadow' is the wet year's 'pond' and that trying to keep water fowl home working when the property line runs through a pond is futile.

I've learned that I like the look of plumper chickens more than skinny, scrawny ones.

I've learned that I'm a sucker for a handsome rooster.

We know that wooden housing is our preference contrary to our early hypothesis that the greenhouse would be nicer.  It was better for winter at least initially when we had to confine guineas and ducks for a month and we'll see about this winter.  I thought plastic would be better than wood, too, and for sleeping quarters only, again spring-fall, it is nice and very easy to clean and move around.  However, good old-fashioned wood, heavy though it may be, really looks like the front runner for winter so far.  We'll keep you posted.

Poultry yard- new location and additional coops- wooden and plastic

We are failing but we had anticipated failing from the beginning which is why we didn't put all our eggs in one basket, all our chickens in one coop, or all our hope in one bird.

Good luck, Muscovies!
Best wishes, Guinea Guys!
All the best, Mystery Chicks!

We've been failing very successfully.
Now let's hope we fail all the way to success.

And eggs.
How much longer 'til pink eggs?