He decided he did, brave man.
Tim grabbed a tarp and we drove back a mile to a freshly killed doe. For a change, I hadn't hit it. The person in front of me had and then had driven away, leaving perfectly good free cat food behind. A spring doe was sure to be scrawny but hey, Abbi Cat's not fussy.
Tip #1- It's a lot easier to not hit the deer oneself.
Tim, in sensible knee-high rubber boots, dragged it up the steep slope while I, clad in clogs, watched optimistically except for the last couple feet when I grabbed his belt and pulled.
Tip #2- Remember appropriate footwear on a roadkill date.
What's appropriate depends on whether one wants to climb down into the swampy ditch or have a good excuse not to.
Somehow we heaved the deer tarp-wrapped into the back of the van. Holy smokes- she was heavier than she looked. Not so scrawny.
Tip #3- A tarp is an excellent idea,
especially if the roadkill date involves a minivan.
Now the question of gutting. An hour and 15 minutes left on the gut-it-or-lose-it clock, we drove the three minutes back to our neighbor, Kifah's, hoping we could just pull off the side of her driveway, pull the tarp out, and have her gut it quick.
Tip #4- Knowing how old one's roadkill is is helpful since one has two hours to gut after death or contamination occurs.
Cats probably wouldn't care either way
but your date might since freshly dead makes for a lot different roadkill date experience than not so fresh.
Enough said.
Fortunately, Kifah was at home and interested. She's not one to do things by half measures and is a true appreciator of fresh free meat. She dropped her grad school assignment and had Tim haul the whole shebang to her basement. She laughed when I told her about our roadkill date and replied with an impish grin, "Our husbands had no idea what they were getting into when they married us, did they?"
Tip #5- Have friends with a great sense of humor who
know how to do things.
Kifah and Tim started the butchering process while I watched her preschool daughters upstairs. The doe was pregnant with twins nearly ready to be born. So much wellness and life cut short in a moment is always sad. Kifah and Tim buried the twins.
Tip #6- There is an inescapable tragedy to every roadkill date.
Kifah felt that the venison would be tasty enough for people to eat and she was right. The doe was fat from eating in the corn fields. Crossing the road between fields was the cause of the doe's demise so there may be some kind of poetic justice or particular angst in that depending on one's perspective.
Tip #7- Given #6, good news is even more amazing.
I recommended taking photos for the blog but Tim demurred saying
Tip #8- Some things are best left to the imagination.
Several hours later, we departed for home with ziplock baggies full of cat food and people steaks and roasts. Half the deer meat went into our freezer and half into Kifah's.
Tip #9- Share the meat.
Last night Tim took a large venison steak to Men's Meat Night because what could be manlier eating than roadkill? Tim told the Roadkill Date story and everyone ate roadkill.
Tip #10- Share the story.
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